User's Guide and Manual to V
by Evey1812
Summary: Based on the 2005 movie. Congratulations on your purchase of a V Unit!


_Disclaimer: I do not own the idea for Character Units, and there have been a great number of hilarious ones done for other various movie characters. I also do not own anything from the 2005 V for Vendetta movie._

**The User's Guide And Manual For **

**V **

**Copyright Vendetta Ltd. **

**Edmond Dantes, Chief Technical Advisor**

CONGRATULATIONS!

You are now the proud owner of a V Unit! In order to obtain maximum enjoyment from your masked vigilante, please follow the instructions below.

TECHNICAL SPECIFICATIONS

Name: V

Type: Human (male)

Manufacturers: Scarlett Carson and co.

Height: 1.95 metres

Weight: 190 lbs

Length: data protected

ACCESSORIES

Your V Unit will be shipped to you as soon as possible. Units are delivered fully clad in black attire and a Guy Fawkes mask. In addition, your V Unit is supplied with six sharpened daggers and optional strap-on explosives.

OPERATING INSTRUCTIONS 

Your V Unit has been designed to be both user friendly and efficient. His controls are voice activated, but please be sure to speak loudly so that he can hear you beneath his thick mask and long-haired wig.

Aside from being a thoughtful companion who always keeps a smile on his face (or mask, rather), the V Unit has many other uses.

_Culinary Chef_  
Suffering from a concussion after assisting in a terrorist plot? Your V Unit will whip you up an egg breakfast, complete with real butter stolen from the Chancellor's supply.

_Orchestra Conductor_  
Is your party in need of a little music? Your V Unit comes with its own wand and is equipped to conduct any orchestra in Tchaikovsky's 1812 Overture.

Note: It is absolutely critical that you keep any explosive devices away from your V Unit when it is set on Orchestra Conductor Mode.

_Stealthy Assassin_  
Have a politician you want to off? A bishop that can't keep his hands to himself? Your V Unit will hunt down any target and have them eliminated in time for dinner.

Note: Should your V Unit be unable to gain access to the target, an EVEY Unit may be sent in first as a distraction.

CLEANING

While your V Unit has no hair growth to warrant grooming, it is important that you maintain a strict cleaning regimen so that your V Unit does not start to smell.

All V Units come with pre-scorched skin. You will therefore want to set your V Unit to auto-clean so that you do not have to look at or touch the severely burned exoskeleton.

Note: We advise you not to let your V Unit shower with your PROTHERO Unit as this will result in your PROTERHO Unit's imminent death.

FREQUENTLY ASKED QUESTIONS

**Q:** When my V Unit makes my breakfast, he wears a pink frilly apron. Is my V Unit gay?  
**A:** No, despite the V Unit's strong opinions on homosexual rights, your V Unit is in fact heterosexual. If you wish to test your V Unit's sexual orientation, render your EVEY Unit unconscious. This should send your V Unit into Gallant Protector Mode.

**Q:** I caught my V Unit sword fighting with an armoured knight mannequin. Should I be worried about further violent outbursts?  
**A:** Not at all. All V Units suffer from a slight Edmond Dantes complex and enjoy engaging in pretend sword fights. Allow your V Unit a once a week viewing of The Count of Monte Cristo to satisfy these urges.

**Q:** My V Unit keeps resetting into I Am An Idea Not A Man Mode whenever I send it on assassination assignments. Why does it do this?  
**A:** Your V Unit needs to believe that its violent acts are for the good of the country. Do not dispell your V Unit's illusions by telling it that you really just want to kill people. This will automatically send your V Unit into The Only Verdict Is Vengeance Mode, and you will be its next target.

**Q:** I recently bought a GORDON DEITRICH Unit and it makes eggs just like my V Unit for breakfast. Is my GORDON DEITRICH Unit really my V Unit?  
**A:** Obviously not. Your GORDON DEITRICH Unit is the completely wrong body type. However, it has been installed with the egg-making function because of compatability issues with the EVEY Unit, which it is required to charm.

**Q:** My V Unit shaved my EVEY Unit's head and has proceded to torture my EVEY Unit. Why is it doing this?  
**A:** This is perfectly normal and will make for a stronger EVEY Unit. Unfortunately, it will not improve your EVEY Unit's fake British accent.

TROUBLESHOOTING

**Problem:** My V Unit insists on wearing dark sunglasses and keeps addressing me as Mr. Anderson.  
**Solution:** You have accidentily purchased the MR. SMITH edition of the Wachowski Brothers' line of Units. We will gladly exhange your MR. SMITH Unit for a V Unit. If you decide to keep your MR. SMITH Unit, we recommend that you refrain from uttering "Whoa." in your everyday speech as this will encourage your MR. SMITH Unit to engage in such craptastic sequels as Reloaded and Revolutions.

**Problem:** My V Unit keeps alliterating and only using words that start with V.  
**Solution:** Has your EVEY Unit recently been threatened with rape or any kind of physical harm? Simply set your EVEY Unit to Defenseless Heavy Breathing Mode. Your EVEY Unit will then stifle your V Unit by asking it if it's like a crazy person.

**Problem:** I no longer want to use my V Unit, but it will not shut down.  
**Solution:** Are you trying to shut down your V Unit by shooting it? Your V Unit is an idea, and ideas are bullet proof.

**Problem:** My V Unit blew up my house.  
**Solution:** Have you been engaging in government conspiracies, censorship, or oppressive behavior? If this is the case, it is never meaningless to apologize, but you're pretty much screwed.

FINAL NOTE  
Due to several errors in the V Unit configuration, we advise you not to try to remove your V Unit's mask. Your V Unit is no more that face than it is the muscles beneath it, or the bones beneath them. We hope that you enjoy your V Unit and remember that a revolution without dancing is a revolution not worth having.


End file.
